Truth

Dear Friends,   I am back to Whitehorse.  As you may know I was stopped from running after completing 2/3 of the race (205 miles).  The news  was given to me, in the presence of the Race Director, by a man who was introduced to all runners as a military man from Scotland who was (or has had experience as) a paramedic.  The reason given to me was puffiness under my eyes with water retention which he told me MAY freeze, and in such case I MAY develop a scar under my eyes.   I told them that the water/puffiness was due to my goggles being fastened very tightly as I had a problem with fogging. I had put lots of duct tape on my face to prevent frostbite and was well protected. I told them I had no physical problems or weakness nor Idid I have any mental impairment that would make me unable to continue this race.  I asked,  why were they doing this to me?  And, I asked, when was this decided? They just repeated that my race was over at this point.  I proposed to continue to Inuvik and consult there with a local doctor, and the answer was NO.  I was so far ahead of schedule that were was also time for me to take a break and be observed over a 24-hour period to see if the puffiness resolved, and then make a determination. But no, the decision was FINAL!   I was driven to the next checkpoint where all the runners who had withdrawn from the race and the support crew were resting in a comfortable, warm chalet.  My previous checkpoint was the back seat of a SUV.    I was devastated by the abrupt decision.  I took a short shower and I heard the end of the itinerary for the next few days that the race director was presenting to the others in the room.  It was about sightseeing, dogsleding, and driving to the finish line, as the dropout runners wanted to see it.  I was shocked.  How, can it be that in a few minutes all this was arranged?  I was so upset and went for a long run that lasted several hours.  If I was unable to continue the race why I was able to run?  I run as I have no health problems to stop me from doing so.  I was able to complete the race in my own pace.  I was taking my time and had no stomach problems or dehydration.  I was eating proper food often and drinking the right amount.  The drew and other runners spent the entire day sightseeing.   At the end of the day, I had no place to sleep.  The room was very small and the double bed was taken by the paramedic, with the other runners taking the the two other beds and all the floor space.  I  loudly mentioned that I would look for a spot to sleep outside as there was no room inside.  Nobody said anything.  I went to check around the lodge but it was extremely cold and there was no place to put my sleeping bag except directly in the snow.  I returned to the room and placed my sleeping bag beside the young Belgian runner.  Two of us squeezed on a single bed. Since I was stopped from completing the race due to health reasons, why didn't the paramedic let me use his sleeping space?  Why didn't he or the race director ask me on that day or any other, how I was feeling???  The next date they had arranged for themselves to go dog sledding and I went for another long run.  This time I was passing Inuvik Hospital.  I went inside and asked if I could speak with any doctor.  They directed me to the emergency area.  There was a young doctor and I told her my story about the race and the reason I was stopping from advancing further.  She looked at my face and told me that she didn't see any reason that I could not continue.  But she said, here is Dr Clark and she told him the story and I also explained the situation.  He was an older man and he looked at me and told me:  there is no reason you cannot continue the race.  Even if you had some frost bite you could still protect it and go ahead!  Tell your organizer that you are fine and can go and continue the race.  I learned that he was the Head of the Emergency Departement in this hospital.  I ran back to the chalet but all the crew was dog sledding.  When they returned I told the race director what the doctor told me and I told him that I wanted to be reinstated in the race. He said;  "No way.  The race is over."  His decision was final and there was to be no more discussion on this subject.  So I told him to give me my money back.  He said no and told me that he based his decision on the experience of the paramedic.  I asked what experience has the paramedic had with extreme races?  How can he stop someone for a reason like "just in case..."  If you are worried about "just in case" how can you organize this race knowing that severe weather and low temperatures may cause some harm to runners?   I told him about my time spent on training, my expenses, my fundrasing and my vacation time and asked how someone with questionable experience can ruin all my efforts with an uniformed, arbitrary, and stupid decision.  If the doctor would have told me that I could not continue I might have agreed, but even then, I should have had some say. We know our bodies best and if we are able to physically and mentally function we should be able to decide to pull out or not from the race.  After all, other runners made their own decisions to withdraw from the race--they were not ordered to do so by the Race Director.   In my opinion it was purely a political decision.  Why drag along with those with a slow pace, when all of them can have a great few days of vacation if they don't have to pay attention to only one runner.  For sure,  it would cost more to accompany one runenr all the way, independently, than just take everyone together.   As a footnote I can tell you that this paramedic had two car accidents during this week.  If he was such good paramedic, he would pay attention to his speed, wouldn't he?   He should know that speeding is unsafe!  He knew how to stop me from the race but could not stop his foot pushing the speed peddle! Also, I tried to asked the paramedic why he stopped me from the race and he didn't  want to talk to me.  Whenever, I mentioned in the car that I was upset, no one responded.  I traveled with a driver (friend of the race director), son of the race director's girlfriend, and the Belgian runner whose English was limited.    I wanted to cut the trip short but I couldn't,  as coming back to Whitehorse was almost impossible.  I got stuck with them and they got stuck with me.  None of the other runners cared much about the race.  The Belgian (Ethane)  had never even run a marathon, Kevin had never run an ultra race, and David mentioned to me that he probably pulled out too soon from the race.  It looks like I was only one who really trained and was in great ultra running shape.    There is no doubt in my mind that I could have finished the rest of the race.  I had only 140 miles to go and 4 days to finish it.  If I could not run I could have completed it by strolling the distance.  The easiest part was ahead of me....the very flat McKenzie River.    I am alone here in the hotel and I am thinking about all of you who are supporting my Alzheimer's Fundrasing, who support me as a friend, or even as a stranger I met during the trip.  I feel very badly that this happened and I could not finish my planned task.  But I can say; I ran more than 200 miles in the Arctic!    Thank you so much for your support, as always, dedicated to a good cause, Your friend, Alicja P.S..  The race was no easy one.  The temperature was between -30 to -40C plus wind (F and C are the same at 40 degree).  The route was up and down all the time. with steep hills where the sled was pulling me down. I crossed from the  Yukon to the Northwest Territories in almost  blizzard conditions.  There I experienced the most beautiful white Northern Lights and the most fearsome wind.  I thought, it was a fight between  God and the devil.  God was sending me the beauty of the Northern Lights and the devil tried to destroyed me with a hurricane force arctic wind.  I enjoyed the show in the sky and pushed forward, not thinking much about the obstacle presented by the devil.   I did it as I wasn't afraid to face the challenge!  For all these who suffered from Alzheimer's, I did this race for you and your families.  I hope, one day we all will have a Memory4Life.